


New Kind of Important

by ashapoop



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Childhood Memories, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Mild Smut, Reflection, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 20:01:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13348479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashapoop/pseuds/ashapoop
Summary: Iwaizumi looked at him, remembering the unsigned card in his flower bouquet, and nodded before swallowing the lump in his throat. Now was the time to open his mouth and tell Oikawa so confidently that the two were so much more than best friends, that they were soul mates. Now was the time to take his hand and press a kiss to the bruises and sign his cast with a heart that he’d gush about for the next five years. Now was the time to hold him as close as he could and whisper how sorry he was, how much he loved him.But something held him back.





	New Kind of Important

**Author's Note:**

  * For [karuwa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/karuwa/gifts).



As Iwaizumi pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the main road, he knew that he’d made a grave mistake. His eyes watched in horror as his passenger reached forward, turning the radio’s dial much further than he ever had before. Pop music blared from the speakers, awful and loud and filling every inch of the small car, and the man let out a slow breath. He was going to buy all their food and gas on the way there, Iwaizumi thought over and over, trying out the breathing pattern their coach recommended. If there was anyone an expert in dealing with him, it was Irihata-san. And Iwaizumi truly believe that it would all be fine, until he began to sing. 

  


“Oikawa!” he yelled, reaching for the dial.  


“Don’t you dare!” Oikawa yelled back, smacking at his best friend’s hand. “Iwa-chan promised! I get to be the DJ in return for paying for food and gas! Unless Iwa-chan would rather…”  


“Just… can we turn it down? A little bit? I can’t hear myself _think_.”  


“That’s the point of music! No thinking, just singing!”  


“You’ll have to start thinking when I kick you out of this car.”  


“Iwa-chan, so mean!”  
  


Iwaizumi couldn’t help the small smirk forming on his lips when Oikawa turned it down so it sounded like a dull roar. Oikawa, of course, was pouting with his arms crossed tightly at his chest until he seemed to get bored of his own attitude, humming along quietly. After a minute of peaceful silence, the pop song slowly faded into a classical piece that the two loved and Iwaizumi glanced over at Oikawa tapping away on his phone before the two shared a smile. Sometimes his boyfriend wasn’t all that bad.  
  


_The relationship that blossomed between Iwaizumi and Oikawa shocked him when he realized he had feelings for the setter early in their first year at university. Oikawa Tooru was a constant, there even in Iwaizumi’s earliest memories, and as a child he found himself fussing over his reckless best friend. Over the years, the two were described as an old married couple and before Iwaizumi ever had time to think the phrase through, Oikawa would have his tongue out and tug on his bottom eyelid, a quiet _bleh, baka_! becoming his default reaction. In high school, people had their speculations about the two boys, unable to miss how close they were. Iwaizumi was quick to say it was unfortunate, their friendship, before Oikawa would throw an arm around the shorter boy’s shoulders and croon about how much he _loved his Iwa-chan_. But after they graduated, something changed between them, something that Iwaizumi was terrified would end up being one sided.  
  
_

__

__

_Their summers had always been filled with movie marathons, a familiar weekend tradition the two shared over the years. With no homework or late night practices, the two found solace in Oikawa’s permanent pillow fort that he called his bed. Iwaizumi wouldn’t have been able to recall the movie no matter how hard he tried, but a certain scene made his best friend gasp and he looked over. Oikawa’s eyes were fixated on the laptop screen, the changing light illuminating his wide eyes and small mouth shaped in an “o” and Iwaizumi thought he looked… beautiful. The moment was short lived as Iwaizumi quickly turned his attention back to the screen, trying hard to forget he’d ever had the thought. It was stupid, ridiculous, _impossible_.  
  
  
_

__

__

_Weeks later, Oikawa was at his doorstep with a wicked grin and a bottle of pale pink wine in his hand. His mother would kill him if she found out, he said as he slipped off his shoes and turned to Iwaizumi with a smile, thrusting the drink into the boy’s hands, but he said Iwa-chan was worth it. He laughed and shook his head before shoving Oikawa’s shoulder and walked into the kitchen, grabbing them glasses. Three hours and two glasses later, the two found themselves both comfortably buzzed, Iwaizumi channel surfing as he pointedly ignored Oikawa’s requests of each channel to leave on, before the taller boy rolled into Iwaizumi’s lap, the two nose to nose.  
  
_

__

__

_“Iwa-chan, put on the docu--!”  
_

__

__

_“You’re beautiful.”  
  
_

__

__

_The two watched each other for a moment and Iwaizumi felt his eyes stinging as Oikawa processed what he said. This was it, he thought somberly, this was the end of eighteen years together. This was the end of the best friendship he’d ever had. This was the end of…  
  
_

__

__

_“Say it again.”  
_

__

__

_“Sorry,” Iwaizumi blinked. “What?”  
_

__

__

_“Say it again, Iwa-chan.”  
_

__

__

_“Is… is this some sort of--?”  
_

__

__

_“Iwa-chan. Please.”  
  
_

__

__

_Iwaizumi took a slow breath as he watched Oikawa, wary of his intentions. There was a glint in his eye that the dark haired boy couldn’t place, something odd as Iwaizumi knew Oikawa inside out. Three seconds for inhale, four seconds for exhale. A chill held onto every bone in his body, but he still repeated himself.  
  
_

__

__

_“You’re beautiful.”  
_

__

__

_“Say my name.”  
_

__

__

_“Oi-Oikawa?”  
_

__

__

_“My name.” Oikawa said with some sort of smirk.  
_

__

__

_“Oi… Tooru.”  
  
_

__

__

_The whole situation was new and terrifying and so strange that Iwaizumi wasn’t sure exactly what he was supposed to be feeling but Oikawa almost shivered atop him. It was something that made his brows furrow and heat flare in his gut, his eyes staring at the expanse of his best friend’s skin as his head was tossed back. After a few moments of silence, Oikawa lifted his head and met Iwaizumi’s eyes and there were blown pupils and wide curiosity that made Iwaizumi’s hands find their way to Oikawa’s waist. The younger boy leaned forward, hand cupping Iwaizumi’s cheek, before smiling.  
  
_

__

__

_“Is this okay, Iwa-chan?”  
_

__

__

_“Y-yeah,” the boy stuttered, eyes jumping from Oikawa’s eyes to his lips. “Of course.”  
  
_

__

__

The roads were clearer now, travelling through the country, and the hand that Iwaizumi didn’t have on the wheel was interlocked with Oikawa’s. The lighter haired man was talking about his astronomy class, expression animated, and Iwaizumi found himself glancing over to drink in his expressions as much as he could. He tossed in his two cents when Oikawa paused to take a breath, making the man curl towards the dashboard as he laughed. It was a sound much more beautiful than any piano could produce, a soft tinkling that even pianists with the limpest of wrists couldn’t master.  
  


“I told her I would pay her for information on the aliens, right?” Oikawa asked, slurping loudly on the milkshake they had picked up from a rest stop. “I promised her my future fortune and she, listen to _this_ Iwa-chan, she told me that the aliens didn’t want me to know anything about them!”  
  


It was too funny to Iwaizumi, the whole scenario, and he couldn’t believe the compression in his chest as he laughed harder than he had in awhile. He glanced over at Oikawa with his eyes burning and saw a dazzling smile and prided eyes that made the grumpy man melt. His own lips curved up into a smile and he wanted to live in this moment forever, wanting nothing more than Oikawa’s cold hand in his, a dribble of his milkshake threatening to drip from his lip, and… whatever was moving so quickly behind his head.  
  


Each moment was slow, a clock ticking off the seconds too loudly in his ears. His eyes widened in panic, surely, and Oikawa’s expression turned to genuine fear, mouth moving to form _Iwa-chan_. Iwaizumi was yelling, his mouth stretched wide, but no sound was coming out. Oikawa took four seconds to turn his body, trying to face the window, before the two were flying. There were lights filling the car, reflecting rainbows on the two men, and Iwaizumi wasn’t holding the wheel but instead trying to move through what felt like ocean waves to find Oikawa’s hand once again. There was no noise, everything completely silent, and the rainbows turned crimson. There was wetness, there were blurred colors, and then there was _solid_ and _pain_ and too much _noise_. What was once silence was screaming metal, screaming voices, but none from Oikawa Tooru. There was only… the wetness. _Blood_.  
  


“Oikawa!” Iwaizumi screamed, ignoring his muscles crying out as he tried to push his airbag away, tried to get out of his seat, tried to find him. “Tooru! Tooru, please! Tooru, where are you?!”  
  


And when Iwaizumi made it past his airbag and out of his seat belt and around the twisted metal, he found who he prayed wasn’t Oikawa. What he saw was limp limbs, was bruised and torn skin, was someone that was more disaster than human. But beneath the spreading crimson was the familiar jersey stolen from Aoba Johsai, the proud number four that he wore so proudly.  
  


It was Oikawa. It was his Tooru.  
  


And Iwaizumi saw black.

  


***

  


When Iwaizumi came to, he was shivering. He immediately recognized that he was in a hospital room, the white walls cold and impersonal, much different than he and Oikawa’s dorm room filled with all of Oikawa’s stupid movie posters and Iwaizumi’s volleyball awards. The thought made his heart pound as he glanced around, unable to find the little bastard, until realization struck him like a volleyball to the face. Before he could react, whether it was to pull out his IVs or start yelling, he heard a knock at the door.  
  


“Iwaizumi-sama, how are you feeling this evening?” a woman with a kind smile asked.  


“Where is Oikawa Tooru? Is he all right?” he replied in a rush, unable to believe anything terrible happened to his significant other.  


“How is your wrist doing? Is there any pain?” she asked after a pregnant pause.  
  


He blinked at her in surprise before glancing down at his left wrist, wrapped tightly, and he swallowed. There was no pain whatsoever and with a slow hesitancy, he reached to run his fingers over his face, feeling the scattering of cuts littering his face. None of it hurt, everything still felt absolutely normal, but there was still a feeling twisting his gut in a way that made him want to vomit. If he was as fine as he felt, that meant the feeling wasn’t present for Iwaizumi himself.  
  


“I feel fine. There’s no pain at all.”  


“Excellent, you had quite a nasty fracture in your wrist.”  


“Sensei, please… what happened to Oikawa Tooru?”  
  


Perhaps Iwaizumi would have been calmed at the sight of her upturned lips, but he noticed a slight quiver that made his fingers curl into fists, knocking a breath out of him. Her eyes were empty, a well hidden emotional reaction that frustrated the man to no end.  
  


“Oikawa-sama is alright. He has a broken arm and dislocated knee that was easily made possible from his previous injury. Much better than people who have been in that situation before. But…”  


“Yes? What is it?”  


“He was hit dead on by the car and at the impact, his head smacked against the dashboard. There was bilateral damage from the force and he has a serious case of amnesia.”  


“Meaning…”  


“He doesn’t remember his own name right now.”  
  


***

Iwaizumi was discharged from the hospital after two days with a cast on his nondominant hand that he barely took notice to, instead insistent on seeing Oikawa before being driven back to school. His mother walked with her arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders as if she was afraid he would get into another accident if she let go for even a moment, phone on her hip buzzing incessantly with what she told her son were texts from Hanamaki, who he and Oikawa were supposed to meet up with at the game. Iwaizumi looked through the texts when she handed him her phone and told his friend that he was alright and to not tell their old coach until the games were over, promising he would call later before handing back the device.  
  


“Well,” she said, gesturing towards the elevators, “shall we be off, then? Maybe we could catch their night game if they--.”  


“I need to see Oikawa,” he said, glancing down at her before taking a slow breath. “Please.”  


“Of course.”  
  


The two walked silently down the twisting hallways, taking the correct turns that Iwaizumi recalled the doctor telling him the day before, until they were standing outside his door. His door was shut tightly but a nurse at the station had told him all he had to do was knock and he was allowed in if Oikawa was awake. But it felt as if he were a tree, rooted into the floor of this hospital’s hallway, unable to move even an inch.  
  


“Hajime,” his mother said softly, “it’ll all be okay. It’s Oikawa, after all, right?”  


“Right,” he whispered, shaking his head. “You’re right. I’ll, uh… I’ll be right out.”  


“Take your time, send him my love.”  
  


With his mother’s hand on his back, Iwaizumi took a breath and gave the door two sharp knocks, heart jumping into his throat when he heard that familiar voice chirp and greeting. His eyes stung as he wrapped his fingers around the knob, opening it slowly and walking in only to wish he hadn’t.  
  


He was still dazzlingly beautiful, even sitting with messy bedhead in hospital scrubs. But still, there were cuts and dark bruises covering half of his face, black eye settled, and it made Iwaizumi want to yell. There was still a smile on his face even though two of his teeth were knocked out, the crack in his lip looking ready to split but there wasn’t a trace of pain in his eyes. He hardly remembered his own name but still looked so happy to see him there and Iwaizumi almost let his tears shed.  
  


“Iwaizumi,” Oikawa said, eyes intense as Iwaizumi stopped in his steps.  


“What… what did you just say?” he whispered.  


“You’re… you’re Iwaizumi, aren’t you? Iwaizumi Hajime?”  
  


The fear in his eyes made Iwaizumi miserable, wanting to take back his words more than ever. He let out a slow breath as he sat down in the chair, resting his knees on his elbows to get closer to his lover. Since the two were toddlers, Iwaizumi usually only ever heard Iwa-chan, even when the two had met and he was so angry that the strange boy had already given him such a stupid nickname. He wanted to be big and strong, with his chest puffed out and bug net clenched tightly in his small fist, but this stranger had sent this persona to the curb in a matter of seconds.  
  


The only time Oikawa had ever called him Iwaizumi was in their second year, during a match against Date Tech, after a messy fight. The two hardly ever actually fought but that morning they were fighting against their friends to get to one another, desperate to punch and kick over harsh words spilt by Oikawa over Iwaizumi being given a confession by a girl that he had once pined for. It was stupid and childish and the two were almost benched and, perhaps, it would have been for the best. The whole three sets, Oikawa was only throwing to the other team members, never setting up for Iwaizumi to spike, until it was match point with Date Tech in the lead and Oikawa resorted to his sadistic tendencies.  
  


_“Iwaizumi,” he said, throwing the ball to Iwaizumi.  
  
_

__

__

_He didn’t react, didn’t recognize that the ball was going to him until it was bouncing on the gym floor out of bounds. The whistle was so quiet to Iwaizumi as he stared at Oikawa, his eyes cold and his mouth quirked into a smirk even though his shoulders were tight. Their team was silent as they watched the two, the scene before them something so new that no one knew had to process it. And when Oikawa left the gym without another word, Iwaizumi still found himself following._  
  


“You really must have lost your memories,” Iwaizumi tried to joke, ignoring the tightness in his throat. “You’ve called me Iwa-chan since we met.”  


“Really? When was that? What happened? How did we meet?” Oikawa asked, eyes lit up as he sat forward.  
  


So Iwaizumi told him all about how the two met, paired together by their mothers when they were young, and Oikawa ran into Iwaizumi because he was too busy paying attention to his new spaceship toy. He told Oikawa how his mother scolded him and helped Iwaizumi get up and told her son to apologize, and thus was the birth of the infamous nickname. Oikawa let out a laugh and ran a hand through his hair, knocking the wind right out of Iwaizumi as he listened to the noise, remembering how it sounded moments before…  
  


“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa tested, looking at him. “What’s wrong?”  


“Still perceptive,” he uttered before glancing up at his wide eyes. “I… I’m sorry that I let this happen to you, Oikawa. The fact that I did this to you… I hate myself for it. And I hope one day that you can--.”  


“But you didn’t.”  


“Huh?”  


“You didn’t do this to me,” he said matter of factly. “The… the other car did. That’s what the doctor told me. She told me that he ran the sign and was responsible for this. So stop hating yourself, I… don’t want you to do that. I forgive you. Okay?”

  


The honesty was so raw, his eyes so bright, and Iwaizumi couldn’t see even a hint of doubt or anger. Like he always had, Oikawa forgave him without a second thought, even when his life on the line. Iwaizumi’s throat tightened and his eyes burned and he couldn’t look at him any longer. He couldn’t show weakness when Oikawa must have felt so lost.  
  


“Okay. I believe you.”  


“Good.” Oikawa said. “Hey, Iwa-chan?”  


“What is it?”  


“We’re… best friends, right? Since we’ve known each other for so long? My mom asked about you when she was here, said she stopped by your room.”  
  


Iwaizumi looked at him, remembering the unsigned card in his flower bouquet, and nodded before swallowing the lump in his throat. Now was the time to open his mouth and tell Oikawa so confidently that the two were so much more than best friends, that they were soul mates. Now was the time to take his hand and press a kiss to the bruises and sign his cast with a heart that he’d gush about for the next five years. Now was the time to hold him as close as he could and whisper how sorry he was, how much he loved him.  


But something held him back.  
  


Oikawa was waiting for an answer and Iwaizumi wanted to tell him the truth. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell Oikawa that they’d been together for almost two years now, that they were so in love with each other that it made their friends sick, that they slept in the same bed every night. The guilt would suffocate Oikawa, not being able to remember their memories together, and he would hurt himself trying to remember. Iwaizumi had already caused him so much pain, and a little white lie wouldn’t do much, not when Oikawa couldn’t remember. All he had to do was learn to live with the new man sitting in front of him. Iwaizumi had no right to be selfish and bring that pain only for himself.  
  


“Yeah,” he whispered, pretending to rub the sleep from his eyes instead of tears. “Best friends. Just best friends.”  
  


***

  


Iwaizumi’s next decision was automatic, made up the second he slipped into the passenger seat of his mother’s car as they drove back up to his university. There was no way he would be able to stomach being at school when Oikawa was home, confused and probably scared with no personal memories of his own. Who would kill the bugs that loved to nest in his closet? Who would buy him bread milk when he was clearly upset and sending one word texts? Who would hold him at night when he had knee pain and was still trying to put on a strong face? The thought of going into their dorm and hearing his chirped greeting was something that sent a shiver done his spine and made his blood run cold as ice. Oikawa needed him now more than ever and Iwaizumi would stay by his side like he always had, no matter the consequence. Whatever happened to him because of this choice would be manageable as long as his Tooru was safe.  
  


His mother was wary of his decision but knew that she couldn’t stop him if she tried. Of course taking the rest of the semester off would push Iwaizumi back in his studies and tack on even more time for his future plans but he didn’t mind at all. Once he got her approval of his plan, he made quick work of calling the right people and sorting out exactly what needed to be done for the duration of their drive. By the time they pulled up to his dorm room, he was able to work on packing up Oikawa’s things while his other packed up the little that he had brought. He rolled up his lover’s hideous fluorescent alien posters with care, packed away his mug collection and overpriced tea set in a large box, and folded shirt after shirt after shirt until it was dark out. The things that weren’t able to fit in the car were easily passed on to Bokuto and Kuroo down the hall, taking the large futon and egg chair with excited smiles and sad eyes.  
  


“I-- We’ll be back next semester.” Iwaizumi told them once Bokuto started sniffling. “So there’s no need to cry about it.”  


“I’m not crying,” Bokuto barked back before glancing at his feet. “Except for I am. Be sure to get him up to speed on how much he loves us, okay?”  


“And how Nekoma creamed you guys our first year of high school.”  


“You… didn’t.”  


“And he’ll never know!”  
  


When he returned to his room after a tearful hug from Bokuto and a sad wave from Kuroo, Iwaizumi found his mother curled up in his still made bed sound asleep. He smiled to himself as he watched her before settling down in Oikawa’s bed, inhaling the scent of his shampoo against the pillowcase. If he closed his eyes and focused hard enough, it would be like any other night with the two pressed against one another in one of their small beds. His arms twitched, aching to wrap around Oikawa’s torso. He wanted to hear his affectionate whispers and stupid babbling when he was overtired. He wanted him. But Iwaizumi fell asleep alone.  
  


***

  


“Come in!”  
  


Iwaizumi opened and shut the door behind him as he saw Oikawa sitting awkwardly on his bed, surrounded by photo albums as his lunch plate balanced on his cast. He rolled his eyes with a small smile before grabbing the plate and moving it, grumbling too quietly for him to hear, before sitting on a clear corner of the bed. Oikawa’s mouth was moving animatedly, eyes bright as he pointed out picture after picture, finger moving too fast for Iwaizumi to focus on one single memory. As his finger directed to a photo of the two in the bath as children, he heard that laugh like wind chimes fill the room. He grabbed the book closest to him and found an abundance of photos from elementary school. Memories upon memories flooded Iwaizumi’s memory as he leafed through before stopping after a few pages at a picture of them beneath the sakura tree at the corner of the school yard. Oikawa had a fresh smile with a missing bottom tooth and Iwaizumi had him in a headlock, face angry as Oikawa was laughing.  
  


“What were you doing that for?” Oikawa loudly protested as he leaned over to look at the picture that caught Iwaizumi’s attention.  


“You deserved it,” he said before shaking his head. “It was, uh, a couple minutes before we had to go get ready for volleyball tryouts. You told me there was no point in me going because I’d never be as good as you so I did what I usually used to.”  


“Hmm… I was such a mean kid.”  


“It didn’t stop there.” 

  


There was a prolonged silence and Iwaizumi glanced up at Oikawa to see his brown eyes glossy and his teeth pressing into his bottom lip. A rush of panic flooded through him -- was what he said too mean? It was so hard to look at Oikawa and not have him remember everything, especially their dynamic. He lifted his hand to reach out before seeing the man tense his shoulders, his own sign that he didn’t want comfort. Iwaizumi let his hand fall awkwardly to the comforter and waited for him to speak.  
  


“I…” Oikawa started, refusing to look anywhere but his hands. “I hate this. I hate looking through these pictures like they aren’t me. It doesn’t feel like they are. I can’t… I can’t remember the things that make you laugh and I want to so badly. I… I want things to be how they used to be. I want to be myself again.”  
  


Iwaizumi felt his heart twist as the first tear fell from Oikawa’s eye, swallowing the lump in his throat before hesitantly reaching out to him. Oikawa looked up at him, the tip of his nose red, and Iwaizumi simply pulled him into a tight hug. That action seemed to break the dam and soon his best friend’s body was heaving as he sobbed, the first time that he’d cried in front of Iwaizumi since the accident. Iwaizumi carded his fingers through Oikawa’s stupidly perfect hair, wanting nothing more than to press a kiss to the soft locks.  
  


“It’ll be okay,” he whispered into his ear. “You’ll remember, okay? I promise. And I’ll help you.”  


“You will? Promise me you’ll stay too.”  


“I promise. Besides, I’ve stuck around this long, haven’t I?”  
  


Oikawa pushed himself back up with a small smile on his lips, and Iwaizumi watched him settle back into the position he once was and pick a new book up. He could tell by how worn the spine was that it was of their high school years, the color that was once the same turquoise color as their school uniforms. The brunette boy had spent days making not one but two of those books, presenting one to Iwaizumi on their graduation day. As he watched Oikawa leaf through the book for the first time again, it felt a little harder to breathe. He had shown up to classes with a new bandage on a new finger each day, a new Star Wars character for each day of the week, but as he looked at the photos now he had no idea of such a small memory.  
  


Did this new Oikawa know the plot of Star Wars? Did he know that Obi Wan yelling in pain at Anakin brought him the same pain, making him cry as he texted Iwaizumi the lines in synchronization with the movie? Did he still think about aliens, wondering where they were and if they were watching humans on Earth? Was he still Oikawa?  
  


“Iwa-chan,” he said, breaking the older boy from his thoughts. “I understand that I’m beautiful but you don’t need to stare at me for so long. It went into creepy mode about thirty seconds ago.”  
  


Without thinking about it, Iwaizumi grabbed the nearest book and smacked Oikawa in the arm, letting out a quiet laugh as the man whined in protest and rubbed his arm as if it had been stabbed. He responded quickly then, leaning forward to try and shove Iwaizumi off the bed and the two laughed harder then, pushing and slapping at each other until they were out of breath. As Oikawa took deep breaths with his long fingers splayed across his stomach, Iwaizumi’s lips pulled into a smile as he shook his head. Of course he was still Oikawa, he would always be the annoying, beautiful boy that cried over fire ants and volleyball with or without a bout of amnesia.  
  


***

When Iwaizumi woke up the next morning, it was by a phone call rather than his usual alarm. He rolled over slowly, a low groan slipping past his lips as he squinted against the sun rays peeking through his blinds, before grabbing at his cell phone. It was only just past nine in the morning, an hour and a half earlier than he had planned on waking up on his day off. Oikawa’s face filled the lock screen, a photo he’d taken two weeks before when they visited the beach together, smile wide and eyes bright that made Iwaizumi’s heart swell. His thumb swiped across to answer but all he heard was Oikawa scream a “come over now!” before he was met with the dull tone of the call being ended. The thought of laying back down was tempting, but he knew it would only be another ten minutes of peace before the man called again to make sure he was walking over and such a short nap wouldn’t be worth it.  
  


He got up slowly, stretching his arms high until he heard the satisfying pops in his shoulders and back, before walking over to his closet and leafing through the shirts hanging. The weather in late April was always weird, flip flopping between cool and hot, so Iwaizumi grabbed his phone to check the small weather installment on his lock screen but his eye were glued to the date. His phone slipped through his fingers but he didn’t even hear the fall, only feeling what sounded like angry crashing waves in his ears. His veins were injected with ice and his knees were weak, enough so that he found himself moving almost too slowly to sit down, forehead resting on his knees.  
  


_2015年8月17日（月曜日）_

_  
_

_Monday, August 17, 2015_

_A year ago today was the morning the two woke up after having kissed, fumbling and awkward as they avoided eye contact while eating their bowls of steamed rice. It was difficult for Iwaizumi to swallow his green tea with the lump in his throat, terrified at the thought that Oikawa regretted kissing him and even more terrified he would laugh if Iwaizumi were to bring it up. The walls of Oikawa’s home were shrinking, his head pounding as his thoughts moved too fast, and he slammed his tea cup on the table with almost enough force to shatter it. Oikawa’s head snapped up with a speed to cause whiplash, eyes as wide as the moon he was so fascinated with, and Iwaizumi watched as his mouth twisted into something of a smirk and a sneer.  
  
_

__

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_“Is there something the matter, Iwa-chan?” he asked after a moment, thin brow cocked high.  
_

__

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_“Last night, I… and then you…. And then we….”  
_

__

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_“Use your words, Iwa-chan. I can’t understand you if you babble and trail off with incomplete  
sentences like some sort of uneducated bru--.”  
_

__

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_“You kissed me.”  
_

__

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_“I… am more than aware.”  
_

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_“Was it… the wine? Or did you mean it?”_  
  


As Iwaizumi curled up into a ball in his own room, eyes squeezed shut as he felt the heat from the  
skin of his knees, he remembered the offended look in Oikawa’s eyes. He remembered the boy not answering him, only standing up and walking around the table so he could kneel next to Iwaizumi and, as the tears finally began to cool his hot skin, Iwaizumi remembered as Oikawa kissed him again, whispered his confession, until the two were smiling and glowing and happy. His tears came faster and his throat was closing but Iwaizumi couldn’t be bothered to try and breathe as he was stuck in the past, a memory so dear to him that Oikawa _didn’t remember_. It had been hard to be Oikawa’s friend as if nothing had happened, but today was too much, it was pushing him far over the edge, because he wasn’t his Oikawa anymore.  
  


The vibration of his cell phone startled Iwaizumi from his thoughts and he wiped his eyes, taking a breath before glancing at the screen. All he could see were angry emoticons, one of them flipping a table, and the man found himself tying a response to soothe his impatient best friend before pushing himself up, promising that he would be fine for Oikawa. It would all be okay as long as he pretended it was so. He was a good liar, a _great_ liar. There was no way he couldn’t fool Oikawa Tooru.

  


“Will you stop already?”  
  


Or maybe not.  
  


Iwaizumi was pulled from his thoughts, startled, as he glanced up at Oikawa. The man was practically seething, his mouth curled into some sort of sneer, as he angrily stirred his tea. His eyes were wild and alive, as if he were looking at a flame flickering before him. His shoulders were tense to the point that he looked as if he were carved from stone, unable to relax or allow him to breathe the way he should. There was guilt pooling in Iwaizumi’s stomach, knowing that Oikawa would catch on to him being lost in thought, but sometimes he forgot just how smart the man was.  
  


“What?”  


“You’re looking at me as if this is a first date and we met on the Internet. Not like someone who you’ve known your whole life.”  


“I--.”  


“No. No, it’s even worse than that. You’re looking at what you wish was still me but that’s not _fair_. I’m not who I used to be, not yet, but you’re still searching for him, wanting to skip past all of this to find him again. But I want you to be here for the whole ride, not searching for a _ghost_.”  
  


The words cut Iwaizumi deeper than he thought possible and beyond the anger, he could clearly see the pain in Oikawa’s eyes. His own heart was pounding in his chest as his fingers itched to reach forward and cup his cheek like he always used to when Oikawa was upset. The _old_ Oikawa. The one that was gone for the time being. Iwaizumi shook his head and looked down at his own cup of coffee, embarrassed and disgusted with himself that he made his best friend feel this way. There was no way that Iwaizumi could properly explain to him why he was acting this way because of how he had set up their friendship. If Oikawa was anything like he used to be, he would be a million different shades of livid that his Iwa-chan had lied, even if it was to protect him. No, especially because it was to protect him.  
  


“I’m sorry,” he whispered into his coffee, coughing to clear his throat before glancing up. “I’m sorry, Oikawa. I… It’s weird for me. And I know… I know that it’s so much harder for you. I can see it in your eyes and your tense shoulders and your tight fists every single day that you miss what you don’t know. But I still… It’s so weird to not be able to laugh about a story from six years ago with you, or to tease you with bugs, or to see you look at something with a different expression than I remember it being. I promise that I’m trying every single day to make it easier for you but sometimes I get caught up and I’m sorry about that. I don’t want to upset you or make you angry or treat you like you’re fragile but you’re so important to me and you’ve always… you’ve always been the most important person in my life. And you still are, you really still are, but it’s a new kind of important.”  
  


***

“Iwa-chan, were we ever together?”  
  


Iwaizumi choked at Oikawa’s words, the cool dessert still burning as it came out his nose as he sputtered, trying to breathe regularly once again before glaring at his best friend. The two had decided to go to an ice cream shop a few blocks over to celebrate the removal of Oikawa’s brace. Iwaizumi had said it would be his treat, whatever Oikawa wanted in the shop, but he now regretted the kind gesture as he watched tears leak from Oikawa’s eyes as he laughed. As he finally caught his breath, he shook his head and took another slow sip of his tea.  
  


“Why do you ask?”  


“I don’t know… Well… Okay. I was looking through my phone gallery the other day and I found… a lot of pictures. Of us. And it looked like we were.”  


“Oikawa, I don’t think this is the place to--.”  


“Were we?”  
  


The dark haired man sat back in his seat, gnawing on his bottom lip as he studied Oikawa. Iwaizumi knew that he should have gone through his gallery and deleted those photos that he knew were taken but found he didn’t think it was his place to take away even more memories. There were pictures of their hands intertwined and their mouths connected and Iwaizumi’s mouth slack and pupils blown wide underneath Oikawa, pictures that couldn’t have been mistaken as anything else.  
  


“Yes.”  
  


It was almost too loud, the scraping of Oikawa’s chair before the man lurched out of his seat and stormed out of the parlor. Iwaizumi hopped up, running after his best friend who now moved much quicker than the weeks previous, shoving through the door and rounding the corner to grab his wrist before Oikawa pulled away, ripping his arm from Iwaizumi’s grasp.  
  


“Why wouldn’t you tell me something like that, Iwa-chan?” he asked, voice wavering as if he were trying to keep quiet.  


“I… I thought it would be easier for you if you thought we were just friends.”  


“How long?”  


“What?”  


“How long were we together?” Oikawa asked, eyes shining.  


“No, no… shit,” Iwaizumi whispered before letting out a low sigh. “Almost… a year.”  
  


Oikawa Tooru was good at a lot of things, such a wide variety that it was almost ridiculous. Surprising Iwaizumi was definitely up there and the older man found himself stunned as loud peals of laughter escaped Oikawa's mouth. A pool of nerves twisted and tugged in Iwaizumi’s gut as the laughter got darker, harder, before they met eyes and all he saw was hostility.  
  


“Oikawa, I…”  


“We were together for almost a year and you think that you have a right to take that from me? You think just because you know more than I do for a little while that you get to dictate what I do get to remember? You… you said we were best friends instead of the telling the truth. That’s… that’s hilarious. You’re a _coward_ Iwaizumi Hajime. What else are you hiding from me? Did you steal a diamond ring off my finger while I was knocked out too?”  
  


All that Iwaizumi felt in that moment was weight. The weight on his chest was intensified by the anxiety fluttering throughout him but still it was nothing compared to the heavy weight of Oikawa Tooru’s gaze. His full name spat from Oikawa’s tongue filled his ears, echoing as if it were screamed in an open cave, and it made the world tilt just enough to make Iwaizumi stumble on his stationary feet. Waves of nausea were pushed down again and again as he tried to find a way to make words push up through his dry throat. He felt his eyes burning and shame washed through him in waves but he still couldn’t look away from the iciness that was Oikawa Tooru.  
  


He was right. Every word that he spoke was absolute truth that made Iwaizumi feel so small that he wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock. He had stolen a piece of Oikawa and kept it for himself in such an act of selfishness, hidden in the illusion that he was protecting a fully grown man from what? His own mind? If only he had told the truth when Oikawa asked what they were to one another… he wouldn’t have to hear anything but Iwa-chan.  
  


He never knew how much he hated his real name until he heard it spat by the man he loved.  
  


“I’m sorry,” Iwaizumi whispered, desperately trying to blink away his own tears. He had only cried in front of Oikawa a handful of times in his life. “I… I had no right to do that to you. Please believe me when I say that I… wanted to protect you. It was stupid and selfish and I… I’m sorry.”  
  


Iwaizumi had his eyes squeezed shut, resisting the urge to bow before Oikawa, when he heard a soft sigh. He opened one eye slowly, seeing Oikawa watching him with a newfound warm that eased the fluttering in his chest instantly. There was still guilt settled in Iwaizumi’s bones, a feeling that he had grown used to, but it was pushed away by the rush of relief he felt being back in Oikawa’s good graces.  
  


“Iwa-chan,” he started, lips twitching when Iwaizumi sighed softly in relief.  


“Yeah?”  


“Were we in love?”  


“Yes.” Iwaizumi said sincerely, the corners of his mouth turning up. “Kuroo couldn’t be in the same room as us for more than an hour in the beginning.”  


“And what about now?”  


“Now? Well, he probably could last a few hours? I don’t know.”  


“No. Do you still love me now?”

  


Oikawa’s eyes were wide and bright but closed off, something that made Iwaizumi nervous. He was too good at hiding his emotions, he always had been, and now he wasn’t allowing a safety net for how Iwaizumi answered. All he could do was answer honestly and hope for Oikawa to grab his hand before he sunk.  
  


“Yes.”  


“Good.”  
  


Iwaizumi’s eyes widened as Oikawa smiled, his eyes now shining. He opened his mouth to ask about his response, about the tears, but Oikawa was coming closer and anticipation swelled inside of Iwaizumi. The brunette’s hands settled on Iwaizumi’s waist before his head was dipping down and the dark haired man couldn’t hold back his watery laugh before their lips met. The world that had been so foggy had become just clear enough, just light enough for Iwaizumi to pull himself forward, everything brighter with Oikawa’s mouth on his. His own lips moved softly but with a steady force, hoping that he could show his lover everything that he had felt for weeks, for months, for years towards him.  
  


“I love you,” Iwaizumi whispered when they broke apart.  


“I love you too, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispered, a tear slipping from his eye before he, too, let out a laugh. 

  


***

  


“Iwa-chan, where are we going?”  


“Shut up, we’re almost there.”  
  


Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa’s hand to turn the key in the lock, pushing open the heavy gym door and stepping aside to let his boyfriend step inside. The brown haired man looked suspicious, poking at Iwaizumi’s chest with some attempt of a menacing look before going inside and letting out a large sigh.  
  


“Well, get it over with. You led me to an abandoned building with no lights. I know you’ve been planning my death for a long time, Iwa-ch--.”  
  


Iwaizumi watched Oikawa carefully as he turned on the gymnasium lights, warmth swelling as his mouth curled up into a pleased grin. The man was like a baby deer, practically tiptoeing towards the volleyball net as he brushed his fingers along the thin rope. It was an easy memory for Iwaizumi to fall into, wanting to dive into head first, he and Oikawa on Aoba Johsai’s court together once again. This new memory, though, was just as beautiful. 

  


“So this is Seijoh’s gymnasium,” Oikawa mused, voice soft as if he was hesitant to break the silence surrounding them.  


“Yeah, this is our- hold on. What did you say?”  


“I said this is our gym... what-?”  


“But where?”  


“Sei...joh?”  


“Holy shit,” Iwaizumi whispered. “You’re remembering.”  
  


Oikawa’s eyes widened as he looked around, carefully reading the name Aoba Johsai before proudly beaming at Iwaizumi, a sight that made the latter want to take a photo. The two laughed together before doing what they did for years: bump, set, spike. Each time the ball smacked against the opposite side of the court, Iwaizumi couldn’t help but notice the distant look in Oikawa’s eyes until he final spoke up.  
  


“Can I try something?” Oikawa asked, still spinning the ball in his hands.  


“Sure. What is it?”  


“Something I saw when looking at my laptop.”  
  


Iwaizumi watched from the sideline, arms crossed over his chest as Oikawa spun the ball in his hands. A slow realization dawned over the older man as he watched the familiar gleam glow in Oikawa’s eyes before he took a step backward. With a hand as sure as it had been throughout his life, the ball was tossed into the air and with steps that looked choreographed, Oikawa ran and jumped, soaring in the air, before his palm smacked against the ball with such precision that it left Iwaizumi breathless. There was nothing but the booming sound of the ball hitting the other side of the net, towards the back of the court, both men rendered speechless. It was only when Oikawa fell to his knees that sound returned to teh gymnasium.  
  


“Oikawa! Oikawa, are you okay?”  
  


Iwaizumi crouched down next to him, hands flying towards his once injured leg as he heard Oikawa sobbing. The man was panicking, trying to grab Oikawa’s face to see if there was any pain there, but when he finally looked in his eyes, Oikawa was smiling.  
  


“Oikawa… what…”  


“You were right.”  


“About what? Are you okay?”  


“I’m remembering. I remember Aoba Johsai and I remember you and Mattsun and Hanamaki and Karasuno and Shiratorizawa and spiking and winning and crying and… and I remember, Iwa-chan!”  


“You remember,” Iwaizumi whispered back, pulling Oikawa into his arms as they both sat on the gym floor. “You _remember_!” 

  


***

Iwaizumi’s arms winded around Oikawa’s waist, pulling him farther up his lap as their tongues tangled together. Oikawa shivered at the touch, rolling his hips slowly as their sighs blended to sound as one before the taller man pulled back with a smirk, long fingers running down Iwaizumi’s chest.  
  


“Want to see what I can remember, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa whispered, lips ghosting against his ear.  


“Fuck, Oikawa. Yes. Yes, show me.”  
  


Oikawa pulled back with a glint in his eyes that was a ghost of what Iwaizumi remembered so fondly from all the times they had come together again and again in the past. It was a delicious sight, something the older man wished he could drink. With bated breath, Iwaizumi let his head roll back as he felt those soft lips on his skin, tingling with the contact he hadn’t realized he needed so desperately. A low groan rumbled in his chest as Oikawa’s teeth skimmed across his pulse point and he was rewarded with the feeling of his lover’s thighs squeezing against his legs.  
  


“I remember this spot right here,” Oikawa whispered, lips attaching to the skin beneath Iwaizumi’s right ear that had his hips bucking.  


“Fuck! Fuck. God, that feels so good.”  


“Say my name,” Oikawa whispered against his skin, pressing his growing erection firmly against Iwaizumi. “Say it like you used to, make me remember.”  


“Tooru!”  
  


Iwaizumi let out a loud groan as Oikawa’s teeth sunk into his skin before he rolled the two over and put his knees on either side of Oikawa’s thighs. The brunette’s cheeks were flushed and his chest was heaving as the older man looked at him. Iwaizumi surged forward and pressed their lips together, lips curling upwards as Oikawa scrambled to grab at whatever he could, his lips eagerly moving as they molded together. The temperature of the room was climbing quickly and Iwaizumi found himself barely able to pull away from Oikawa’s needy hands to pull off his own shirt. Oikawa stared up at him in wonder, long fingers trailing slowly up and down the man’s torso before he moved up and forward, taking Iwaizumi’s nipple into his mouth to roll it around in his tongue. Iwaizumi’s hand found Oikawa’s hair easily and without a second thought, watching and letting out a soft sigh as the man worked on his body. Oikawa continued this way for a few moments before he began to pull back, letting his lips skim down his torso until his tongue dipped into Iwaizumi’s belly button for just a moment before nimble fingers found his belt.  
  


“Not yet,” Iwaizumi murmured softly, moving back to slot their lips back together. “Okay?”  


“Okay.”  
  


They took their time, peeling off articles of clothing and allowing their mouths to rediscover every inch of the other’s skin. The two were like an ocean and the shore, rolling together and pulling apart only to be drawn together in mere moments once again. Iwaizumi swore to memorize Oikawa as he lay below him, pink and panting with lips parted and hips rolling to their own accord. Moans and soft noises filled the room, burned into Iwaizumi’s memory as it had once been, Oikawa’s quiet chanting of Iwaizumi’s name burning on the man’s tongue like a prayer. The older man stared down at his lover with a fond look in his eyes before Oikawa’s mouth twisted and words of pure filth were whispered and Iwaizumi was drowning once again, tongue slowly circling around Oikawa’s sensitive hole as the boy’s whines were high and demanding. The inside of the boy felt like velvet and Iwaizumi took his time playing the man like a violin, making him hit all the right notes until he sang loud enough for the gods above to blush. They remained this way for hours, twisting and turning and kissing and touching and fucking until Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi, burying his head into his chest and panting into his neck that he needed until morning.  
  


The silence in the room was peaceful, something that Iwaizumi had always loved as he lay naked in bed with his lover curled up against his side. Tooru was breathing softly into his neck, acting as if he were five inches shorter, but he was definitely awake. He smiled down at the messy haired man, fingertips brushing feather light up and down his arm before Tooru was shifting underneath the covers.  
  


“Iwa-chan,” he said softly, moving to rest up on his elbow, their eyes level. “Can you… can you tell me about the past?”  


“What?” Hajime asked in return, thick brow raising.  


“Can you tell me about me? You know… how I used to be before… I just want to know who I was.”  


“Who you are,” he corrected quickly before his lips twitched into a smile. “Alright. I’ll tell you about what you were like. Narcissist.”  
  
Iwaizumi couldn’t hold back a smile when Oikawa perked up, an eager puppy with shining eyes. He studied those brown eyes, seeing them again and again as they flashed so quickly across his mind filled with tears, anger, happiness, and even love. His smile that could be twisted, radiant, flirtatious, heartbreakingly fake. He brought Tooru’s hand to his lips, kissing each fingertip, still so rough from years of volleyball. All of these years from elementary school to now, Oikawa Tooru had always been so beautiful.  
  


“You’re a pain in the ass,” Iwaizumi said suddenly, smirking as Oikawa’s mouth dropped. “When we were kids, you would cry constantly. I once told you that no one loves a whiner and that was the only time you ever hit me and then you cried harder because you felt bad. Your mother said you came into this world charming and you’ve used it to your advantage for as long as I’ve known you. You were snide and conniving and such a sore loser that it would make Hanamaki and Mattsun laugh for hours. I’m pretty sure you set your Monopoly game on fire but I could have dreamt that. And that fucking alien obsession…”  
  


It was so much easier to say things like this, things that were teasing and jabbing at Oikawa, rather than speaking of all the things he loved about the brunette. He could go on for hours, days even, praising even the smallest of moles on the small of his back. Iwaizumi Hajime never knew he was capable of such an intense love before he met Oikawa Tooru, and instead of fighting it, he happily drowned.  
  


“Iwa-chan! That’s so mean! Come on! I had to be nice sometimes!”  


“Fine, fine! You were the best captain Aoba Johsai could have ever asked for, one of the best setters that Japan has seen in a long time. You were so smart and so passionate and put your all into every single thing you did. You seemed cold on the outside but instead you have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You’re ridiculously beautiful, it’s impossible for someone to not see it. You were a born leader and took people under your wing even if you pretended like you didn’t care about them. You had so much pride, so much fucking worthless pride, but it was all worth it in the end.”  


“Am I still now? Worth it?”  


“You always will be.”  
  


***

Iwaizumi was exhausted from the long drive but he didn’t want to leave Oikawa for two days instead of just one so he left early in the morning to go speak in person with a counselor at school about the idea of returning and then coming back home rather than staying in a hotel for the night or with a friend. He had been playing with the idea for a few weeks and when he asked Oikawa, the brunette practically called Iwaizumi’s counselor himself to set up an appointment. Things had been going well with Oikawa’s progress and he was almost completely back to who he used to be, mannerisms and memories both. Their relationship was almost the exact same as it had once been, with new experiences tacked on that made everything that had happened months ago so worth it. He was able to fall back in love with Oikawa Tooru again, something he never knew could be so magical, and it only made him realize that much more how much the man meant to him. With all the months that they had spent recuperating Oikawa, Iwaizumi’s idea of a marriage proposal was only solidified.  
  


He began browsing some local jewelry shops a few weeks before, unsure of when exactly he planned to propose, and found one on the second day. The ring was simple and dainty, a thin twisted band with a single teal stone atop it. Iwaizumi had his wallet out and card in his hand before the clerk could ask if he needed help with anything, knowing that this was the perfect ring that would make his Tooru ugly cry. It was easy enough to hide the ring box from Oikawa, stuffing it in Iwaizumi’s favorite raisin bran cereal that Oikawa said made him sick to even look at. He had the man and he had the ring, all Iwaizumi needed was a plan.  
He had, of course, come up with hundreds and was in constant contact with his friends to get their opinions but nothing was ever right. Every moment awake he was bombarded by ideas and doubts and frustrations that he couldn’t think of anything as simple as a marriage proposal. In all honesty, Tooru would probably be expecting him to just shove the ring box in his hand which was all too tempting. He wanted to prove him wrong, though, and show him that he wasn’t just his brute self. But after an unsuccessful train of ideas on both the drive to and from school, Iwaizumi was at wits end.  
  


As he pulled up to his street, he parked the car out front and grabbed his messenger bag before noticing his parents cars weren’t also there. It was surprising as he knew they were both off work and they would only need one car to go to dinner but he supposed it was planned last minute as they tended to do. He shoved the key into the lock before opening his door, toeing off his shoes before looking up and seeing… photos.  
  


Up and down the hallway there were developed photos taped to every surface, enough that he couldn’t see the walls behind them. Iwaizumi took a cautious step forward, squinting to look at the very first photo and seeing a smiling photo of he and Oikawa at age 6, arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders with a spaceship in Oikawa’s free hand. Iwaizumi let out a small laugh and began to look at the other photos, watching the two growing up together in the photographs. Birthday parties, club practices, important matches, school celebrations and graduations, and silly photos that they’d taken of one another on their phones were all there for Iwaizumi to look upon, nostalgia casing him like a blanket. His fingers danced across their smooth surfaces, his heart tightening as the photos of when they began dating appeared. Shared kisses on Snapchat or sent to them by friends, tired selfies taken together, and a time they were used as models for a project of Kenma’s for class.  
  


As he was finally at the end of the hallway, he found a picture that wasn’t in order that made him furrow his brows in confusion. It was from their teenage years and someone else must have taken, one of their mothers, and the two of them were smiling happily over their shoulders as Godzilla was on the television in the background. The sight of it made him feel a rush of butterflies, remembering how much time was spent there and how that was where their friendship really bloomed each year. It was the place where they learned each others favorite things, where they told secrets, where they first kissed. It was the most important place in the world. On the bottom corner of the picture, Iwaizumi saw Oikawa’s familiar scribble.  
  


_Bedroom_.  
  


Iwaizumi’s heart stuttered as he read over that word again and again, almost unable to move his feet. With slow steps, he made the trek through his home and saw a flickering light coming from his bedroom and reflecting into the hallway. He took a slow breath before stepping fully into the light, the sight making him almost nauseous. Covering the floor were flickering tea lights, making a path that went towards where his plain bed once was, now covered in throw pillows and their favorite tattered blankets and the canopy they had invested in draping from the ceiling. On his bed was the same bottle of that pink wine Oikawa had brought over the night they kissed, a champagne flute on either side of it.  
  


“Hajime,” a soft voice said.  
  


Oikawa stepped into Iwaizumi’s line of vision, probably standing closer towards where his desk was, with a nervous smile on his lips. He was wearing an expensive looking suit that Iwaizumi had never seen and it brought a lump to his throat. Iwaizumi opened and closed his mouth again and again but couldn’t find the words to say to him, causing the timid smile on his lover’s face to curve into a smirk.  
  


“I remember, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa started, causing Iwaizumi’s eyes to sting. “I remember everything. I remember running into you and my mother scolding me and forcing me to apologize. I remember when I would work too hard at the gym and you would come get me at any hour in the night to bring me home. I remember when we lost to Karasuno in our third year and we cried together that night, holding each other for hours. I remember when I kissed you while we were looking for something to watch that night, needing that cheap wine to give me the courage to finally do so. I remember the butterflies in my stomach whenever you touched me and I remember falling in love with you and I remember every sweet word you’ve ever told me. I remember that you love Godzilla and your favorite food is agedashi tofu and that you used to collect cicadas but always let them go. And I know now how lucky I am to have you, to have always had you, and to continue to have you if you’ll let me.”  
  


Iwaizumi was completely numb from shock as he watched Oikawa’s wet eyes showing so much emotion that it made Iwaizumi’s tears only fall faster. The overwhelming joy that he felt in that moment was beyond compare to any experience he’d ever had and the only thing he could think of was how much he loved Oikawa Tooru and how much he wanted to run to get that ring from that stupid cereal box. He didn’t have the chance, though, as his lover slowly got down on his knee, pulling out his own box from his jacket pocket.  
  


“Iwaizumi Hajime, we have seen everything in each other. You have built me back up from the ground so many times and have never left and to that I’ll never be able to thank you enough. I’ve seen you as a bully, a friend, a best friend, a vice captain, a lover, and I still want more. Will you marry me, Iwa-chan?”  
Iwaizumi Hajime was never one to cry in front of people, only able to be vulnerable in the most special of circumstances. Now, though, tears were pouring down his face as if he were a broken faucet, his usually steady hands shaking violently as he hid his face in his hands. Any thought he had was gone the next second as he was unable to concentrate, wiping away his tears before looking down at his Tooru once more on his knee.  
  


“Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi croaked.  


“I… what?”  


“I was going to propose any day now.”  


“So… is that a yes?”  


“It always has been.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope to god that you guys like this. It took me four months to make this whole thing and it is my baby and ksrngidsnroid! I'm sorry for my lack of medical terminology so please see yourselves past the cringe! If you want, come hit me up on [Tumblr](nishinoy.tumblr.com/)! Now that I've finally finished this, I need some new writing ideas!


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